20 ways to bluff your way through digital PR

Having led digital, agency side, for a number of years now, I’ve got a pretty good idea of the things non-digital PRs do and say to make up ground on their colleagues. And sometimes it works. On the odd occassion, those that start off faking digital PR nous, end up actually getting it. So if you want start off, on that odd little journey, why not absorb these 15 steps to utter bluffery.

1. Talk about how BIG social media is – compare its scale to how big / immersive / pervasive it was 1 year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago

2. Say “everything has changed”, “it’s an evolution and a revolution”, “it is all about mobile” at least once every three minutes

3. Suggest a Tweet-Up or Twitter Party, then follow-up with enthusiastic gestures and shout “It’ll be wild. Mum bloggers will just love it!”

4. Put ‘Tw’ in front of every phrase used in a meeting: “How about we do a tworld twecord attempt?”

5. Whenever a client or colleague is discussing PR campaign tactics, throw in the following words under your breath (whilst murmuring and nodding) in a masturbatory way: “That’d be great for social”, “lovely content”, “so shareable”, “seed / seed it / seeding”

6. Learn the names of the top 10 celeb Twitterers, then talk about them as if they are your best mates

7. Check-in everywhere on Foursquare. Also, name drop who you are going for drinks with on Twitter (every day)

8. Make over-blown claims that social media is the cause of the Arab Spring

9. Laugh smugly and say: “but how many ACTIVE users?”

10. Most digital builds are between £8 -£30k – so stroke your chin and say, that’ll cost between 8 and 30 every time you here mention of a microsite or app. Even better, say with solemnity bordering on aggression: “I trust that’s been built in html5”.

11. Say pompous, pseudo-philosophical things about listening, then just apply the word “online” in front of whatever you say

12. Start talking about the fact you are working on a proprietary tool for either social media measurement, multiple platform management or understanding online “pro-sumers”

13. Refer to yourself as a “nerd” with a modest chuckle

14. Change job constantly, at least every six months (especially if it is spotted you are bluffing). In fact, even better, stay permanently freelance

15. Explain to people who are a lot more knowledgable about social media and digital trends than you, what you consider to be the most important things they should be considering, but break off thoughtfully before you ever have to say anything more than: “Well it is all about mobile….”

16. Look your client square in the eye and ask them where social media fits in their current marketing funnel

17. Purchase mugs to keep on your desk, to rotate depending what client is in the office, which read: “I LOVE Sysomos”, “I LOVE Radian 6, “I LOVE Neilsen”

18. Come into the office at least once a week with a promotional pen, pad or folder from a leading blog or social network and take your iPad into all meetings…

19. Buy an iPad

20. Follow and find a reason to speak on Twitter to people that aren’t digital bluffers

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